I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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