I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Found the puke drawer
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
