I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
