I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think we might need a safe word for this...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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