I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize