Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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