Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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