new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
