i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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