i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You pole danced in your parka.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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