I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
