Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
