Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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