The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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