i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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