they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
