How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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