I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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