weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
