Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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