There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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