So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
