why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize