so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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