im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize