he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"