Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.

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(669): View more from California

sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall

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(858): View more from California

I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike

(303): View more from Colorado

you still have morals?

(443): View more from Maryland

Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole

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(612): View more from Minnesota

This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Help me help you realize you are a moron

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