If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
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You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
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how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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