If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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