You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize