she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
