the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
