If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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