I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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