cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
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