Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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