you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize