By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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