I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
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I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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