I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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