woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
