the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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