uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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