just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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