I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize