I'm really into asian looking animals
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
