now i know why i became what i already was.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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