if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
