do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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