Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
