i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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