she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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