it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize