I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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