The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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