I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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