I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
