is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
