Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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