I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
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He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
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I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.