Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow

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  (734): is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow http://tfl.nu/rth3
  Replies (4) Good night (1319) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet

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  (781): Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet http://tfl.nu/haby
  Replies (4) Good night (599) Bad night (2727)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.

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  (631): Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever. http://tfl.nu/2wq0
  Replies (47) Good night (4736) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?

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  (203): I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night? http://tfl.nu/u6ad
  Replies (6) Good night (5268) Bad night (1317)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

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  (401): I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split http://tfl.nu/416l
  Replies (11) Good night (937) Bad night (2368)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.

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  (210): The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him. http://tfl.nu/79ut
  Replies (9) Good night (4946) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes

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  (229): Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes http://tfl.nu/ukqo
  Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.

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  (360): There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe. http://tfl.nu/9hec
  Replies (5) Good night (952) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  ....this is what your political science major is getting you?

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  (405): New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot. (580): ....this is what your political science major is getting you? http://tfl.nu/c72s
  Replies (8) Good night (2174) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?

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  (760): just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this? http://tfl.nu/n5g9
  Replies (3) Good night (1720) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...

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  (215): five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ... http://tfl.nu/nz34
  Replies (5) Good night (1190) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry

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  (774): And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry http://tfl.nu/4n0l
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.

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  (361): Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment. http://tfl.nu/oa4j
  Replies (1) Good night (1243) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.

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  (763): FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth. http://tfl.nu/ynrg
  Replies (2) Good night (1136) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING

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  (317): Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING http://tfl.nu/f8zp
  Replies (6) Good night (954) Bad night (260)

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