honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!