well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize