My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???