Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.

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  (604): I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/rlh2
  Replies (16) Good night (1058) Bad night (4670)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.

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  (319): Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know. http://tfl.nu/c989
  Replies (12) Good night (819) Bad night (3720)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?

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  (978): Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick? http://tfl.nu/mjo7
  Replies (25) Good night (6318) Bad night (1170)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.

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  (419): it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower. http://tfl.nu/ei3p
  Replies (4) Good night (2111) Bad night (864)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I am both scared and jealous.

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  (610): Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption. (201): I am both scared and jealous. http://tfl.nu/hrb8
  Replies (4) Good night (2944) Bad night (912)
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  (415): View more from California

  I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.

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  (415): I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW. http://tfl.nu/hy3p
  Replies (6) Good night (2342) Bad night (947)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.

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  (+44): I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs. http://tfl.nu/qoq8
  Replies (7) Good night (2451) Bad night (491)
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  (562): View more from California

  I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.

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  (562): I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness. http://tfl.nu/jxto
  Replies (7) Good night (829) Bad night (1594)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.

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  (208): Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that. http://tfl.nu/xdn8
  Replies (3) Good night (1499) Bad night (639)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance

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  (850): It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance http://tfl.nu/dt1j
  Replies (6) Good night (360) Bad night (749)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.

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  (630): I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award. http://tfl.nu/kz36
  Replies (5) Good night (937) Bad night (368)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.

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  (603): Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by. http://tfl.nu/jwsa
  Replies (2) Good night (1054) Bad night (259)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary

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  (248): Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary http://tfl.nu/0652
  Replies (3) Good night (247) Bad night (785)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants

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  (615): I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants http://tfl.nu/v0dv
  Replies (0) Good night (572) Bad night (199)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?

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  (804): What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date? http://tfl.nu/5g3w
  Replies (4) Good night (266) Bad night (516)

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