did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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