was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
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I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
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Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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