I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
