You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
