Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
